Dear douche-tool,

Thank you so much for parking your car at my gym and for motivating fat chicks. Fat chicks will see your car before they work out and have this sign as a reminder to lose weight. With every step on the treadmill or booty shake in zumba or lap of the pool, fat chicks will remember your sign and think, If only I lose enough weight, I can get in that car.

Because certainly it is only the fat chicks’ fatness that is stopping them from getting in your car. Not the personality of someone who would hang this sign.

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